Tag Archives: Military Humor

The Horseshoe Formation

Ah, I can almost feel the freedom of a four-day weekend beckoning to me. The end of the duty day is here, the floors are mopped and still wet, the police call has come to an end, and the First Sergeants and the Command Sergeant Major seem to be pleased that their little empire is presentable enough to be evacuated by its citizenry.  Of course, anyone who has spent at least a month in the Army knows there is one more task yet to be completed; the safety brief.

The safety brief, the final chance for leaders to espouse last minute advice, wisdom, threats and orders to Soldiers before they venture off into a perilous world.  Well, it really isn’t that dangerous, and come to think of it, it’s the exact same world they were in before but with ninety six hours of freedom from adult supervision. Historically, four day weekend are disastrous ventures for the Army. If one believes the safety briefs, it is entirely probable, likely even, you will die. Moreover, you will die on a motorcycle, intoxicated and committing adultery while assaulting your spouse. The only thin red line that holds these Final Destination type deaths from us is the safety brief.

Contrary to the movies, it’s damned near impossible to address a large group of people standing in a rectangle. Command Sergeants Major believe that no matter how big the formation, the secret powers of a Sergeants Major Academy Ring will allow their voice to overcome the laws of physics and project their voice even into the farthest reaches of the Milky Way.  The Romans figured out how sound waves travel a couple thousand years ago and in turn built the circular amphitheater. Army Officers learned this same lesson and invented the horseshoe formation.

“On the Command of Fall Out, fall out and form a horseshoe formation around me”.  That’s how it begins. The commander, depending on his personal style and aptitude, either gives a recollection of the events that have been accomplished recently, a philosophical treatise on safety, and a reminder that we deserve to have some fun, but to have it safely.  The horseshoe formation is a chance for a commander to impart wisdom and guidance to his masses, whether they want to hear it or not.

That’s why I have decided to name my blog the Horseshoe Formation. I don’t really know what it will become, or where it will go. However, the main point of it is for me to put my thoughts out there, maybe put a smile on your face, and perhaps even impart a shred of wisdom.  Welcome, and thank you for visiting.

Advertisements
Tagged , , , ,